"Her Best Friend’s Lover" by, Cee Brooks
$13.95
ISBN-13: 978-0982089705
Chapter 1
Lela strolled into the neighborhood lounge with the sun on her back. She stood by the door for a second to let her dark brown eyes adjust to the dimly lit space before heading over to the bar. Her freshly processed ponytail cradled her Double-D cup. She flipped it back with exhaustion.
"How was your day?" asked Greg who was standing on the other side of the bar.
"Crazy as hell!" Lela huffed, heading towards the emptiest side of the counter with her jet black hair swaying behind her.
"What you drinking tonight? The usual?" Greg asked, reaching for a glass.
Lela nodded her head as she slid her 5'6", Hershey Kiss frame onto the pleather barstool. She came in here quite often. She came in here on her good days, some bad days and especially the days in between.
Greg was an older fifty something gray-haired, wise man who had been running this business for as far back as Lela could remember. He had a father-like demeanor about him that customers swarmed toward - a force that drew people to him from all walks of life. He loved his corner-side bodega. He claimed it had something to do with loyalty, but Lela believed that Greg just enjoyed the company his regular customers provided him. It had to be rough on him to see this neighborhood spiral downhill so drastically.
Over the years, this neighborhood went from having life and promise to being drug infested and broken down. You can tell from the stories Greg repeatedly tells that this neighborhood was once a real tight-knit community. From block parties to neighborhood cookouts, the residents felt comfortable, letting their children play up and down the block. That all changed when bad times hit and the riots began.
With the recession came high unemployment which meant that the people who were just making it slipped way below the poverty line. The brotherly love that once surrounded this neighborhood had dissipated. Elected officials pocketed funding that was suppose to maintain public programs and community leaders suddenly vanished. Gradually, decent folks packed up and moved out; businesses closed, and drug dealers, poverty, and crime moved in. Now all that remains of that era is the three-for-one bodega that Greg inherited from his daddy. And that was only saved because it had a legal license to sell liquor.
Greg approached Lela with a slim glass and sat it down in front of her. Lela bobbed her head toward him as she scanned over the room. "Nobody here but the regulars," she thought. Lela took a small sip of the drink and tried to center herself. Her drink was fruity but it stung as it lined her stomach. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Lela was trying to shake an emotion that she couldn't find the words to
describe. It unnerved her. She took another sip of her fruity concoction.
Lela hopped off the barstool and strutted over to the jukebox. She opened her purse to get some change when she caught sight of it. She touched it lightly concealing it in her bag like a child with a special toy. She found the change, popped it into the slot and searched through the song list hoping to find their song. She felt a sense of relief when she spotted the title and pressed E145 with her flawlessly manicured finger. She laid her purse on top of the machine and closed her eyes as Ashanti began singing "BABY". Lela loved this song; it always brought back sweet memories. Lela hummed, swaying her petite body back and forth to the beat. As she swayed, she could see him. As she swayed, she could smell him. As she swayed, she could feel his hands guiding her hips. As she swayed, he was hers.
Lela swayed and dipped, dipped and swayed. She didn't realize she had moved from the corner where the jukebox was located and was now in the middle of the floor, dancing. Lela was engulfed in her own moment. She hummed until the song came to an end, and then opened her eyes. She realized she was standing alone; her lover was gone. A tear glided down Lela's cheek as she quickly walked back to the stool and sat down.
Lela finished her drink, and went to pay her bill. She couldn't find her purse, but then she remembered that she had left it across the room, on the jukebox. Feelings of embarrassment rushed through her body. She dreaded having to walk pass the people, who were just staring at her, to get her purse off of the machine. She felt like a fool. She sat there fumbling with her fingers when Greg reappeared. He took the empty glass and asked if she wanted another. Lela shook her head, trying not to look at him.
Greg sensed that something was wrong. Lela was not as sociable as she usually was when she came in. Not one story about a co-worker, the traffic congestion, a deadline her %&035;&@$! of a boss gave her that she was never going to make; nothing. Lela came in like a lost puppy looking for its owner. Greg placed his free hand on her jittering hands as an offer of comfort. He figured that if she wanted to talk to him about what was bothering her, she would. Greg knew that some problems could only be figured out from within. "Everybody can't be your Savior," he regularly told his clients.
Lela stopped fumbling and looked up at him. She made an attempt at a half smile but, as soon as their eyes met, tears streamed down her face. Greg felt compassion for her. She quickly pulled her hands from his hold and wiped her tears. Lela started feeling nauseous; the room was spinning, and she couldn't breathe. She had to get out of there. Greg stood baffled as Lela leaped off the stool, darted for her purse, then bolted out the door. She was yelling back something about a drink on a tab. Greg stood there astonished for a few moments until a new customer sat in Lela's place.
Lela was about to cross the street when she heard her name being called. She stood there frozen, clutching her purse, as she listened to the footsteps getting closer. She was in a state of shock. She debated whether she should start walking or turn around and face her predator. He called her name again, giving Lela instant chills. She began praying that it was not him. The footsteps stopped behind her and she caught scent of his cologne. She turned around, looking down at his shoes first, and then inching her way up his body until her eyes convened with his eyes. Tan suede shoes with no scuffs or buffs, his navy blue pants were pressed with love, that bulge that jumped out made Lela's heart pick up the pace, his belt perfectly matching his shoes, of course; everything was in order. His short-sleeved tan, gray and navy shirt seemed a little too familiar. It was the gift she gave him last year for his birthday. His complexion was darker than hers, reminiscent of the color of a moonless sky. His face was clean shaved and his head was bald. "Yes," she thought. "He had some nerve popping up around here all 6 feet 4 inches of him."
"Lela, I've been calling you ever since I saw you come out of that hole in the wall where you hang out. Didn't you hear me?" he snapped.
"Massine, what are you doing here?" she whispered looking around cautiously to see if anyone was watching them.
"I was looking for you." Massine answered.
He was standing there looking all tall, chocolate and handsome. The way they were positioned, his sleek head made an eclipse with the setting sun. How could she help but smile in his presence?
"Massine, I told you that this here," she said pointing back and forth between them, "its over. It has to stop, Massine. Someone will get hurt."
Massine figured that Lela was having another tantrum, and he was going to wait it through. This rift was nothing new between them. Lela had turned to walk away when it dawned on Massine that she was serious. She had never walked away from him. Massine yelled her name again, but this time Lela was determined not to stop. This enraged Massine like never before.
Lela was unlocking her car door when Massine ran up behind her. She could see him through the glare in the car window. Lela put her head down and gripped the door. "Massine, I don't want to argue. This is not a debate. We can't keep doing this; you know it, as well as I do. I need something more than late nights and secret conversations. I deserve more than this. I will have more than this, Massine!"
Massine stood there emotionless. He could not comprehend what she was saying. A tiny vein began to pop out the side of his forehead. Her lips were moving but he heard no words. He approached her gradually with short paced steps. Just as Lela was about to open the door Massine grabbed her by the waist and yanked her back into a hold. As Lela struggled to wiggle free, she could feel his manhood. It sent a shock of electricity to her senses, awakening them. Lela knew she could no longer have him, but that didn't mean her body didn't yearn for his sensual touch.
They had been wrestling for about a minute when Lela's cell phone rang. Massine kept hold of her as she unclipped her phone from its holder on her hip. The phone sounded again and Lela studied the Caller ID. Lela turned backward toward Massine, and lifted the phone so that he could see the number. Massine inhaled deeply as he looked at the number. "It's your WIFE!" she said coldly.
Massine dropped his brawny arms and backed away from her. Did Violet sense that he was there?
Lela positioned herself on the car door, and pressed the talk button. "Hey girl, what took you so long to answer your phone? I was beginning to think you were busy or something, but then I remembered that you don't have a life," teased Violet.
Violet considered Lela to be her right-hand woman, as she would repeatedly say. Violet was a Gemini with an around-the-way-girl mentality. Straight up and down, simple curves with big attitude, vanilla wafer tone, matter of fact features with a supermodel aura, Violet could've done high fashion but she chose to settle down. She was the sweetest girl, if you were on her good side. She was the type that would lay down her life for someone she considered a friend, but if you ever betrayed her, you became the victim in a one-woman gang war.
Violet has a one strike policy. %&035;&@$! with Violet once, and you will regret it for the rest of your life. She would come after you like a bat out of hell. It always amazed Lela to see Violet in action. She would dig up the rottenest, smelliest dirt she could find on someone, and would dish it out to them at the perfect time. The thought frightened Lela. What would happen if Violet found out about her and Massine? Lela wondered if Violet already knew about the relationship and was just setting up her pawns for the attack, like a game of chess.
Violet's real name was Jessica Horske. When she married Massine, her last name changed to Horske-Brown. She got her nickname from her momma. Ms. Horske used to say that when Violet was a baby her fits were so violent that they scared her and her husband half to death. When Violet was a toddler she would go into fits of rage; she would break things and roll around on the floor. Mr. Horske always found it difficult to console Violet during these times, but Ms. Horske would get down on the floor with her and cuddle Violet until the fit had run its course. They tried to send her to school but the teachers couldn't handle her bouts of rage, so Mrs. Horske had to home school her until the second grade. Mr. Horske originally nicknamed her Little Violent, but Ms. Horske told him that the moniker was not fit for a little girl. Instead, she insisted that they drop the "n" in Violent and call their baby girl Violet.
"Lela, are you there?" Violet asked.
Lela tried to compose herself before she answered her. She knew that Violet could read her like a book and she didn't have the energy to guard herself.
"Aye girl, I'm fine. I had a long day and I'm about ready to go home." Lela said.
"You at the spot again? That makes three nights in a row. Lela, you better watch yourself before you end up in A.A." Violet began imitating Lela "Hello, my name is Lela Crow and I am an alcoholic."
They both started laughing. Lela looked up at Massine and signaled for him to leave but he did not budge. He stood there, staring off into space. Lela wondered what could have possibly been on his mind. This was not the first time Violet called her when he was with her. Lela hated lying to her friend. But she knew that Violet would never understand what was happening between her and Massine, so she thought it best to just end the affair before Violet found out.
"Where are you? I see you're calling me from your cell," Lela asked her.
"Oh, I was just heading to the spot too. I had such a hectic day and that stupid-%&035;&@$! husband of mine is no where to be found," she grunted.
Lela became nervous. Massine had to get out of there before Violet pulled up.
"If you don't mind the company, Violet, I'll wait for you here and then we'll have a drink together but, I need to know how long it is going to take you to get here. We need to talk anyway," Lela bellowed out.
Massine's face flashed with a variety of emotions. Embarrassment, fright, relief that this ordeal might be coming to an end, betrayal that Lela would tell Violet and ruin their marriage, and grief that he had cheated on his wife. Massine knew that there was a chance that Violet would find out about the affair, but he was not about to let Lela be the one to tell her.
There was a peculiar silence between Lela and Violet on the phone.
"Violet, you there?" Lela asked trying to keep calm.
"Yeah, Sis, I am here", she replied "Can I ask you a serious question, Lela . I mean sister to sister?" Violet whispered.
"Sure, Violet, but it can wait until we get our drinks. How long is it going to take you?" she asked hastily.
"Lela, do you love me like family?'
"Of course I do, Violet. Now will you answer my question?" Lela asked again.
"Lela, would you lay down your life for me? Do you know I would for you!? I would do anything within my means to make sure that you were happy and safe, Lela. I love you that much. You are all the family I have now. Lela, can you hear me? I NEED to hear you say that you love me that much, Lela." Violet pleaded.
Lela began looking around. She began to get an eerie feeling in the pit of her stomach. She could hear what sounded like Violet crying on the other end of the receiver. "Violet, what's wrong? You are beginning to scare me. Please tell me where this is headed," Lela said.
"Lela, I am here already. I have been for about an hour or so. I came looking for you because I needed to talk to my right-hand woman about Massine. I found some receipts in his shirt pocket and I freaked out. I called you earlier to ask you what you thought, but you didn't answer. I wanted to know if you thought I was wrong for thinking that Massine was seeing someone else, but I guess you already knew!" she hissed.
"Violet, I swear it is not like that", Lela said panicky, "Please tell me were you are so that we can talk face to face. We can sit down and I will explain everything to you." Lela pleaded.
"%&035;&@$!, put MY HUSBAND on the phone!!" Violet was done with her.
Lela looked up at Massine with desperate eyes and said, handing him the cell, "Massine, your wife is on the phone and she wants to speak to you."
Massine looked at the cell phone like it was a venomous snake. As he reached for the phone, he heard footsteps coming from his left. They both turned to see who was coming down the shoddily lit street when they realized it was Violet.
"How did it come to this?" Lela wondered. She was Violet's best friend or at least she thought she was until she did this. She had committed the ultimate betrayal. She had %&035;&@$!ed her best friend's husband. There was no coming back from this one. Lela could not blame Violet if she marched up to her and Massine with a full flagged firing squad aimed at them. She knew that this was a MAJOR DISASTER. This was a code Red, Yellow, and Blue alarm on the Sisterhood Catastrophic Scale. Lela's head commenced to throbbing. She never thought she would bring this much heartache to someone she embraced so deeply in her heart.
Lela and Violet grew up together in a little community in the middle of nowhere special. It was the kind of city that, if you were on the highway and you drove too fast, you might miss it. Violet was the first person to talk to Lela when she moved to the neighborhood that spring. When they met in the schoolyard on a breezy April day, Violet, with a thousand little pig-tails, was seven years old with a birthday coming up in two months. Lela, with braids neatly parted, had recently turned seven. They hit it off instantly.
Violet's parents knew that this could only be one of God's phenomena, because their child always kept herself guarded. She didn't trust strangers which made it difficult for her to make friends and when she did make new acquaintances, she would usually suffer the loss of losing them because she would keep them at arms length. Violet's parents knew that this new little girl in the neighborhood was special. She had done what others in the past had failed to do: she had gotten inside of Violet's heart. This made them joyous, but it also burdened them. They questioned what would happen to Violet if Lela ever betrayed her. Violet's parents both prayed that they would never see that day.
Violet showed Lela the ends and outs of the streets. They became the closest of friends. Lela and her parents congregated at the same church as Violet and her parents. Both their mothers made generous contributions to the same school soir es, and their dads participated in the same clubs. Life was great. One blistering summer afternoon, Violet took Lela to the local YMCA. Lela was an excellent swimmer but Violet was a beginner. They both jumped in the water with their one-piece bathing suits with sea creatures racing around on them. As they were swimming, Violet drifted into the deep end of the pool. Lela was headed back toward the landing when she turned around to see if Violet was behind her. At first, Lela could see nothing, but she heard Violet's splashing and faint cries in the water. Violet couldn't get her footing and kept franticly sliding underwater. Lela turned back around, swimming past an array of unfamiliar faces, until she reached her friend. Violet held on tightly to Lela as she swam them both back to the pool steps. That day in the pool's changing station, Lela and Violet swore that they would always look after each other.
"Damn it, the Scorned Woman," Lela thought, as she watched Violet storm down the orange pinkish street, red and full of fire, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Her sandals clicked on the broken payment. For some reason, the sound made Lela remember what her mother had always warned. She use to say, "Lela, baby, leave those men alone. One day, you're going to have hell to pay if you don't stop messing around with those no good cheating hustlers. You keep it up and you're gonna have women lined up from this front door to around the corner waiting to whoop your fresh tail. Lela, are you listening to you're momma? I just don't want to see you hurt or dead behind some foolishness. Remember this if nothing else I've taught you - there is nothing worse than a Scorned Woman. She could snap and be justified. Besides child, I did not raise a %&035;&@$!." Lela knew that one day she would have to face her opponent. She never would have guessed it would be her best friend.
Violet was heated, and Lela was already aware of where Violet's fiery was headed. She knew that Violet was miffed by Massine's actions, but Lela was in a totally different category. Lela was an inmate on the run, fleeing prosecution, and Violet was the Bounty Hunter who swore on her life; she would bring her back dead or alive.
Lela knew that this situation was bad. She contemplated if she should tell Violet the truth or make up a patchwork lie. Lela reluctantly concluded it was time for this tribulation to end. She had hurt Violet in the worst way and now Violet could no longer trust her. What she did to Violet went past a quickie here and there with a husband. It hit the pit of their friendship. She laughed and lied in her friend's face for months, and did it without any regret or regard. Lela decided it was time to rest in the bed she had made. The idea laid heavily upon Lela's heart. She wearily watched Violet as she approached them.
"What is going on here, Massine?" Violet scorned.
Massine just lingered there looking at her. Massine could not believe that this was happening. Piece by piece, Massine saw his marriage falling apart with every word Violet spoke. He embarked on flashbacks. Some were of him and his wife, and surprisingly, some were of him and Lela. He grunted at the thought. How could he be thinking about Lela when his wife was standing in front of him? He was confused. There he was, holding the opportunity to save his marriage in his hands, and he was choosing not too. Massine knew he loved his wife, but then again, how could he? He was sleeping with her best friend. He could not figure out what to do, so, in his mind, he decided not to do anything at all. When Violet realized that she was not going to get an answer from him, she turned to Lela. Lela was standing by her car, literally shaking. She did not know what to expect from Violet.
At that point, Violet did not know what to expect from herself. She opened her mouth to yell at Lela, curse her ass out, put her down in the worst way. Violet wanted to hurt Lela as badly as Lela had hurt her. No, Violet wanted to hurt Lela even more. But, no words came out Violet was speechless. She had too many emotions racing around inside of her. Her body began to feel like it was burning when she looked at Lela. "How dare she touch what was mine!?" Violet reflected.
Lela braced herself when Violet lunged on her. At first, Lela did not fight Violet back, but when she realized that Violet was not going to stop, she began to defend herself. In the midst of their struggle, Lela's purse fell and all its contents spewed across the sidewalk. Lela paused and dropped down to gather her things when Violet caught sight of it. There it lay in the middle of Lela's rubble. It was glistening in the fleeting sun's rays like a diamond just hit by the new moon's grace. Violet gasped in disbelief, frantically looking at her hand and then back down at the ground. "It couldn't be!?" thought Violet.
Lela looked up to see what Violet was doing when she saw her memorized by the ground. She quickly looked to the place were Violet's eye were fastened and spotted it. A ring identical to the one Violet had on her finger. The ring was a token of love and devotion from her husband. There in the middle of Lela's stuff rested the end of their friendship. Lela prayed that this night would not bring the end to her life. Massine had given Lela that ring as a promise that they would always be together. It had fallen out of her bag during the struggle. Lela could do nothing but bow her head and weep. All of their hopes and dreams poured from Lela's eyes.
Violet turned swiftly toward Massine. "Massine, you bastard, were you going to leave me? ME, Massine?!" she roared. "You were planning on leaving me for this %&035;&@$!? Look at me, honey." She begged. With developing tears in her eyes, she looked down at Lela who was weeping like a mother who had just lost a child. "Massine, look at your %&035;&@$!, on the ground. You couldn't do any better than that?! Look at her! You were planning on leaving ME?" she sobbed. "Tell me you love her tell me, so that I can sleep easier tonight. Tell me you never really loved me, baby. Tell me how horrible of a wife I was to you and that I deserve this! Say it! Damn it, Massine Say it!" she demanded. "I loved you, Massine. I loved you both."
Violet's words were double-edged. Here was her cheating husband and back stabbing friend together, and Violet wanted him to tell her her faults. In her heart, Violet wanted to know that even though they hurt her, that they were truly happy together.
"Look at me, Massine. I need to hear you say these things. I need to know that, in your heart, I was never really your wife". She stared at him through the fading light to see if she saw the man she married, but he was gone. All that remained was this shell of a man standing before her.
Massine stood there while Violet pleaded with him. He never spoke a word. Violet could no longer handle the situation. She fell to the ground next to Lela and began gasping for air. She felt sick to her stomach, and leaned on Lela. She kissed Lela on the cheek startling her. Then Violet whispered in her ear, "Lela, I love you more than I loved life itself. But, I will never forget this night! You hear me!? I wish I never met you, Lela. I curse the ground you walk on!"
And with that, Violet stood to her shaky feet, walked over to her husband and kissed him with all the passion she could muster up. Violet knew what she needed to do, but it pained her. She turned leisurely, and headed down the street into the darkness of the coming night.
Lela kneeled on the gravel, bewildered. Her world had just hit rock bottom. She had finally sunk to a new level of despondence. She had lost complete control of the events that were now overshadowing her life. Her mind could not conjure up any sane thoughts, but moments of despair and what-ifs ran rampant. Lela collected the rest of her things from the sidewalk, and chucked them in her purse.
"How could this have happened?" Lela thought. All she wanted to do was curl up in her bed and pray that this nightmare would end soon. She wrestled to her feet and began smoothing out her hair. Appearance meant everything to Lela and this situation made no difference. She clipped her hair back into a ponytail with a berate she pulled from her bag. "I am dusty!" she judged patting her white capri pants with her hands to get as much dirt out of them as she could. Lela examined her rose colored shirt and concluded it was unsalvageable. "This will have to go in the trash!" she contemplated to herself. "I really liked this shirt, too!" she huffed.
When she glanced up, Lela became conscious that Massine was still standing there. She had not noticed him before. Massine had not spoken a word since Violet approached them. He was standing there dumbfounded, still covered with the residue of guilt from Violet's tongue- lashing. Oddly, she felt sorry for him. He had lost the best thing in his life, but part of her quivered with satisfaction. "He used us. He used us both!" she defensively notioned.
Lela felt like the offended, and less like the offender. She let the feeling of guilt surpass her as she focused on Massine's deceit. This was a typical reaction for Lela. She knew how to maneuver any situation to fit any atmosphere that she wanted it to. Lela has a gift for becoming the victim and not the victimizer. She plays the damsel in distress role like a professional. From a very young age, Lela had a difficult time owning up to her faults. She had a "shut down resistance" that saved her from plenty of whoopings as a child growing up. If Lela did not like the way events were turning out - she would shut down and pretend as if the disruptions were not happening. She could downgrade anything to make it seem so insignificant that her comforter did not bring up the state of affairs ever again. But, Lela knew that this time was different. She was not trying to fool a stranger. She was going to try to save her friendship with Violet. Besides, Violet knew all of her tricks of the trade; so, if she wanted to get Violet to take her apology seriously, she would have to come up with an original plan.
As Lela juggled her ideas around, Massine called out to her. "Lela, I need to crash at your house tonight. I don't have any money on me, and I don't want to go home right this minute. I know Violet will be there waiting for me but, I can not face her tonight. I gotta get my thoughts together before I see her, and she needs some time to breathe! We need some time to let things cool down a little bit between us."
Lela chuckled to herself. "She needs some time to cool off, or is it he needs some time to get his story straightened out?" she thought.
"Massine, you're the reason all this bull %&035;&@$! happened tonight. If you would have left me alone, like I told you to over the phone, and hadn't come down here like "I Spy Joe," then this would have never happened! I told you to stay at home with your wife but nooo that was unacceptable to you. No woman leaves Massine Brown, right?! You had to have the last word, huh? I bet you never thought Violet would catch you in the act! You're too smooth of an operator, remember? And, HELL NO, you ain't sleeping at my house!" she taunted him. After all, Massine had appalled Lela. He did not ask her if he could stay at her crib; he told her, and that was not the way Lela conducted things.
Massine snapped at her, "Lela, get off of it! Come down off that fake-ass pedestal you hold yourself so high on! Come back to earth and see the situation for what it really is. We %&035;&@$!ed up. WE, as in Massine and Lela, %&035;&@$!ed up big time! I was not the only one Violet was pissed off at, remember? If I remember correctly, a certain best friend, who I will let remain nameless, not too long ago got busted with her, Quote-Unquote, BEST FRIEND'S HUSBAND. Lela, I refuse to play childish games!"
Lela was in shock she could not muster up a response.
Massine walked past Lela and opened the passenger side door. He turned toward her and said "I don't want you, Lela! Been there and done that repeatedly. Remember that? Trust me, if I had somewhere else to go I would but I don't so I guess I'm stuck with you for the moment!" With that, Massine slumped down in the seat, and stared straight ahead into the nothingness that lurked before him.
Lela was drained. First her friend, and now Massine, was boldly belittling her. Lela felt like an enslaved captive in a concentration camp. She had no energy to fight with Massine so she closed his door and got in the car herself. She nested down in the driver's seat and turned on her agnation with a feeling of uneasiness. She knew that Massine should go home to his wife but instead, she was letting him go home with her. This was sinful and it didn't settle well in her gut, "How would this turn of events look? After getting caught, the married man goes home with the mistress, who is the grieving wife's best friend" she forethought. That moment, right then, could be the killer move that would permanently end their friendship. She knew in her heart that she was ruining any possibility she had to reconcile with Violet, but she could not tell Massine no. Lela inhaled deeply, and put the gear in drive. She flipped on the radio, pushed the volume up, hoping to drown out her agonizing thoughts and headed for home.
Lela and Massine never said a word to each other in the car. They were both imprisoned by their separate detaining, selfish thoughts.
Violet soared up the highway homeward, toward her suburban villa, racing the sun. She loved the city but she didn't think it was an appropriate place to raise a family. She liked her quiet, tree-lined community. She would say, "You won't find air fresher than mine in any of the finest congested city neighborhoods."
Driving home used to give Violet tranquility, but this evening it brought her pain. There no longer stood the "happy" home Violet thought she had. Her home was broken, and her family was destroyed before it had a chance to grow. Tears flooded her eyes as she struggled to see the road up ahead of her.
"How could this be, Lord? I have done everything I thought I was supposed to do. Everything I was taught a wife and friend is obligated to do, I have done in stride. I didn't complain. Could I have done something so horrible in my past to bring something so %&035;&@$!ed up on me now?" she questioned GOD. "I don't understand this!" she yelled.
Violet and Massine brought a spacious, country house on the outskirts of the city a couple of months after they were married. They presumed it was the best of two worlds. It was close enough to city action, but was a good distance from it, where they could still hear the crickets at night. Violet also wanted to stay close to Lela. Lela lived in a beautiful two bedroom loft in the city. Violet was always concerned about keeping her family close. And since both of Violet's parents had passed on, and she was an only child, she considered Lela her family.
Violet had a rough time adjusting to life without her parents after they died a couple of months apart. Even though Violet was almost an "adult", she could not seem to cope with her lose. She was headed back into her shell when Lela showed up and cradled her. Violet clung to Lela as if she was her life support, and Lela didn't mind at all. If times could only have stayed that way; she and Lela were so close. They made plans for their futures and had basically stuck to them until Lela screwed things up. Violet wanted a husband that had some of her father's qualities and a house full of kids. While Lela, on the other hand, didn't want children, and a husband was definitely out of the question. Lela wanted to enjoy the urban-single life. This frustrated Violet because she busted her ass to keep up with Lela. Violet had to work harder than Lela in school, struggled to find a decent paying job and had to liberate herself while searching for Mr. Right. All these things came natural to Lela.
Violet began to sob harder as she pulled up to her forsaken villa. She thought she had found the right guy. They had been married for almost four years, and had decided it was time to start preparing for a family. In fact, they were actively trying to get pregnant, and Lela knew this. How could she betray her like this, knowing all the crap she was going through? The thoughts circled Violet as she sat in her driveway. She had gone numb, and had completely shut off her emotions. She had to distance herself from this horrifying situation. Lela had done the unthinkable: she had treated Violet as if she was another %&035;&@$! on the street, and now Violet was going to have to fix Lela up one most proper. The road Violet was heading for terrified her, but she had nothing to lose, so there was no turning back.
Violet sat in her car gripping the wheel. She dreaded going into her house built on lies. "I wonder how long it's been going on. I would ask the %&035;&@$!, but the %&035;&@$! probably would only lie! What did I ever see in her? I knew she was trouble from the first time I laid my eyes on her! I should have kept my distance! Violet, you should have left that scrawny %&035;&@$! in the playground instead of bringing her home. Didn't daddy tell me about bringing strays home?!" she deliberated.
Violet reluctantly opened her car door. She struggled to her house door and put the key inside the lock. She lightly touched the panel and prayed that this was a horrible dream. She began reminiscing on the past. She remembered the first night she and Massine stayed in this house. Massine lit candles throughout the entire house, and they made love all night. She remembered the Fourth of July gatherings in her backyard. Violet wondered where things had taken that demeaning wrong turn. She would have never seen this coming, or did she see the signs and ignored them? What could have pushed her husband into the arms of another woman?
Violet unhurriedly pushed open the front door, and stepped inside the sorrowful house. She motioned to flip the light switch, then changed her mind. She could not bare to look at her life as it used to be. She felt comfortable in the darkening house. It was a reminder of her isolation in the world. Violet blanketed herself in its loneliness. She had started up the stairs to her defiled bedroom when she stopped suddenly. She looked at the staircase that seemed to stretch for miles on end. The hand that gripped the wooden banister began to tremble as illusions of a faint couple danced lovingly on the second floor landing. Violet could feel the pounding of her heart in her throat. She cringed as her chest tightened and her breathe shortened.
"I can't breathe," she whispered, heading back down the stairs. "I can't stay here!" she thought as she headed back out the door, fleeing for the nearest hotel.