Beautiful Ugly - Another perfect story about imperfect people!

[Shelia E Lipsey]

Beautiful Ugly Shelia E. Lipsey ISBN-10: 1601629974 ISBN-13: 978-1601629975

Beautiful Ugly will be released nationwide August 1, 2009. It is the story of three friends who are on a spiritual journey that they’ve yet come to realize or understand. There is Layla who struggles with severe obesity and a low self image. Kacie is a single parent of seven children with six baby daddies and a physical disability of cerebral palsy, and then there’s successful, and secretly promiscuous Envy who seems to have her life well defined, except for the fact that she struggles with the issue of why her mother named her Envy and the division between her and her sister Nikkei.

In this excerpt Kacie has just given birth to her seventh child by a man who she prayed and hoped was sent from God above. In this scene, Layla is with Kacie and finds herself doing some soul searching of her own.

Beautiful Ugly Excerpt
By Shelia E. Lipsey

Layla stood near Kacie and analyzed her own life. Maybe she didn’t have seven children and seven baby daddies. Maybe she had slept with only three men in her thirty years. But what about her own past? She wasn’t perfect, never had been and never would be. She admitted to herself that she should grasp and take hold of today. She had someone who loved her, while she was fat and while she was a glutton. Dennis loved her unconditionally, and for that, she should have been thanking God instead of acting like she didn’t feel the same about him.
Listen, to me, Kacie, and then I’m through with it. “No amount of feeling bad can justify what’s happened. You can’t change what’s happened. Your responsibility is taking care of those seven beautiful children you have. No kind of self-condemnation, self-inflicted pity parties, or wallowing over what you’ve done wrong will make what happened go away. God is the one who justifies. He’s the one who promises to forgive us of our sins if we confess them to Him. He is the one who says He is faithful and just. Not forgiving yourself is not earning you brownie points with God. If anything, it shows that you don’t trust and believe in Him like you say that you do. Chew on that,” Layla said, then threw down the dish towel and went into the den.
Kacie got up and followed behind Layla. “Maybe you’re right. But you still haven’t walked in my shoes. You’ve never experienced the teasing, pointing, and taunting from other children like I did when I was a child. You’ve never had one person after another stare at you like you were a freak in a circus side show.”
Layla bit back. “How do you know what I went through? How can you say that I was never teased and made fun of? Well, let’s set the record straight. I’ve always battled with my weight. I have been teased too. So come off the pity trip. Get over it, won’t you?” Layla bellowed.
“How do I get over it? Don’t you see that it’s different than just being fat? You think it’s easy living with a physical disability? Do you think the good men just flock after me? Well, they don’t, Layla. Look at you, and please don’t get all upset when I say this. But you’re right when you say that you’re overweight. And maybe a person or two has said something about you that was unkind. But you haven’t always been the size that you are. For you, if you really set your mind to it, you can lose weight. But the thing is, despite being obese; you still pulled a good man.
Dennis looked at you, and he fell in love with you. I’ve never had that, Layla. I wanted it to be Deacon, but it wasn’t meant to be. He already belonged to another woman, and he never meant me any good. It was a hard pill to swallow, but I’ve finally swallowed it.”
Kacie leaned on the chair in the kitchen like she was totally exhausted. “Layla, every man that’s ever given me the time of day has turned out to be a user, pretending he loved me and wanted to be with me for me. I used to think that when I became a woman I wouldn’t have to listen to people whispering about the way I walked or stopping to stare. But they do. So when a man jumps in my face and turns on the come on line, I fall hook, line and sinker. Until he uses me up and leaves me with a big belly and another baby.”
“You don’t have to live your life like this,” Layla spoke. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Your self-worth is not based on what a man, or any person out there thinks of you. I’m learning that myself. I don’t have it all together yet, but God is showing me how to love me. He’s showing me through His Word how to love me while I’m fat. That’s what it’s all about. No one is perfect. Don’t you see that? Yes, I can lose the weight. You make it sound so simple. All I have to do is choose to eat healthy, exercise, and change my mind set. Well, that’s easy for someone who’s already got it together. But for me, being fat has been my cushion of comfort. It’s kept me from having to face the world and say, look at me. Just about everyone in my family has a weight issue, and it’s hard for me to change. But with God, I know that I can do it. I have to do it for me. Not for you, Envy, my family, or Dennis, but for me.
Food has been my stronghold, gluttony is my sin. As for you, laying up with one man after the other has been your stronghold. Fornication is your sin. You’ve been blessed to have beautiful babies, but you don’t want the cycle of low self-esteem and low self-worth to become a generational curse for them. You don’t want your daughters growing up insecure and thinking that having baby after baby and no husband is the right thing to do. And you don’t want your sons making baby after baby with this girl and that one, because you and I both know that it’s not the way God designed it to be. We’re grown women, Kacie. We go to church almost every Sunday, but we’re still living off the breast milk of God, like Kyland lives off yours. We should be on solid food, which is the full Word of God. We look at our lives and we see our ugliness. God looks at our hearts, and He sees our spiritual beauty.”
“I know what you’re saying. And God knows I hate being the way I am. I’ve hated being different. I’ve hated having this disability. I’ve hated it all of my life. I wonder why it had to be me born this way?”
“What makes you so special, Kacie? What makes you exempt from the hurts and troubles of the world? How can you say that having cerebral palsy shouldn’t have happened to you? God is no respecter of persons. Maybe you have cerebral palsy because you can handle it. Don’t you know you’ve been an inspiration to me ever since I first met you? You never give up, Kacie. You have seven children, and you do your best to take care of all of them. You may get down and depressed for a while, but what inspires me about you is that you never stay down. That says to me that you’re special; that God has a special purpose for your life.”
The two of them embraced one another. The love in the room was apparent. If only they could simply let the past be the past and allow God to move them into the realm of His grace and forgiving love and mercy. If only they could exchange the ugliness of sin for the beauty of God’s mercy and grace.

Author-Shelia E. Lipsey
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